Meet Emily - She fought for herself. She didn't let HER story end.

"I don't know why I've been "afraid" to share my story but someone actually saw the semicolon charm on my bracelet today and asked me WHY. I wasn't afraid to share with her then, so I want to share it with you now. "

I had my first son in August 2015. He was perfect in every way. I suffered with some baby blues for a little while. It would come and go. I could catch myself in a pile of tears over silly things and just fluffed them off. When my son was about 6 months old, my husband working endlessly long hours, we had a really rough weekend. He was very fussy, lots of crying, I felt like he was inconsolable. It was 3:00 am and I was exhausted, he was teething and all of a sudden...I felt like a failure.

And then it hit me. I had very horrible thoughts of self-harm. I felt like I was worthless and couldn't do this. I felt like my son and husband would be better off with out me. I just wasn't cut out to be a mother. I couldn't calm him down, I couldn't get him to sleep, I was just a failure. Over the next month, I had two more of these episodes. It was like my body shut down and a mind that wasn't mine took over. I struggled to tell my husband. I struggled to call my doctor and when I did, he told me that I was too far postpartum for postpartum depression. I knew I couldn't take that. This couldn't be it for me. I made my own appointment with a counselor, and was diagnosed with bipolar postpartum depression. 

I now look back and I'm proud of myself. I didn't give in to the evil that entered my head. I didn't let the emotions take over. I didn't let my story end.

I wear the semicolon charm daily. It's a reminder to me of being able to overcome the evil and not letting my story end, just like a writer uses the semi colon to not end the thought.

It's now been three years. I just had my second son in August and I'm in a much better emotional state. I look back at the time with my first son and realize that I was overwhelmed with the typical newborn baby and first-time mom things but the depression that I didn't know I had made it a thousand times worse. I've refused to let it enter my life again. 

I now have two wonderful boys, a great husband and a story that is continuing. I didn't let it end.

Everyone has a story. What’s yours?

 


 

Semicolon charm for charm bracelet

PopCharms is proud to donate 100% of the proceeds from the sale of the  Semicolon charm to Project Semicolon - an organization dedicated to the prevention of suicide.

We want to know YOU! Send an email to hello@popcharms.net with your short story telling us the meaning behind a charm on your bracelet. It can be a significant event, accomplishment, or memory to a milestone, or special relationship. If your story is chosen to be featured, you get a $50 store credit!

Stories inspire and build empathy. They give us a window into a life often different than our own. Stories break down barriers, helping us all understand each other and the world just a little bit better.